User Profile

This is an RP journal for dementia_rpg. Anything written here should be considered fictional and having no relevance to the real world. I don't own d.Gray-Man or any of the characters, but it sure would be cool if I did.

History:
Miranda wanted to be liked and accepted by her peers when she was growing up, as most children normally desire. Unfortunately she had a habit of messing up no matter how hard she tried at any task, frequently because she tried so hard to impress others. Over the years she worried more and more about trying to be liked and successful at tasks but she had no better luck as time went on, frequently making mistakes because of trying too hard and leading to anxiety in dealing with other people. As an adult, Miranda joined the workforce but her typical luck stuck with her. Despite trying her hardest at everything she did she always managed to mess up, usually due to clumsiness and nervousness, and was frequently fired. She also periodically suffered from insomnia, once going ten days without sleeping. Upon being fired form her 100th job, she fell into a deep state of depression until fate intervened. She was discovered to be compatible with Innocence and was recruited by the Black Order as an Exorcist. This started a short turnaround in her mindset and luck. She gained some self confidence as her skills with her Time Record improved. Due to unfortunate circumstances, there were times when she was unable to save people and this deeply affected her, but her friends were there to help her through her depression.
Shortly after returning from a very stressful mission, Order headquarters was subject to a vicious attack by enemy forces. Miranda was one of only a few Exorcists able to fight to defend the scientists and other personnel in the building at the time. Heavy casualties were suffered but the Exorcists were having success in pushing back the enemy, with Miranda's abilities playing a key role in protecting the object they were trying to steal away from the Order. As the battle neared its end and it seemed the Exorcists were going to win, Miranda was suddenly attacked by Lulubell, the Noah leading the attack. Able to transform her own body into water, Lulubell captured Miranda and pulled the Exorcist inside her body in an attempt to force her to release the invocation of her Innocence while drowning her. Miranda's friend Allen rescued her just before Lulubell could kill her.
This near-death experience, coupled with the stress of the previous mission was more than Miranda could bear. Her depression, over those she was unable to save on that mission and the staggering number of losses in the attack on headquarters, returned stronger than ever before. Her previous problems with insomnia returned as well, and on the rare occasions when she did sleep she had constant nightmares. She blamed herself more and more for the losses suffered and started believing that she did not deserve to continue living when so many people with (what she believed to be) much more value to the world had been killed while she was spared on more than one occasion. Late one night after being awake for several days, she tried to jump from a high balcony in headquarters to commit suicide but was stopped just in time by one of her fellow Exorcists. Fearing for both her sanity and safety, her supervisor Komui arranged for her admission to the Ravenshold. Miranda reluctantly agreed to institutionalization because she felt guilty that she was going to force her friends and colleagues, whom she cared for deeply, to be forced to deal directly with her death so shortly after losing so many of their own.

Symptoms: depression, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, insomnia, social anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, suicidal, nightmare disorder

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